i started playing bass when i was 23 and decided that i didn't want to get married or have kids unless i was making music for a living. later when i started dabbling in other art forms it changed to "unless i'm making art for a living." but i didn't imagine what my life would look like if that didn't happen - that all i would have is my work. my job to pay for things and my art work to satisfy everything else. i always assumed that if i worked hard enough, something would happen. that's what happened in my 20's & that's what my dad told us over & over when we were growing up.
but now i'm turning 40 & thinking that my priorities and ambitions were all wrong or if not wrong, then unhealthy. i've tried online dating a couple times in the last few years and i only met one guy in person - he's a professional sound engineer for well-known touring bands & he was funny in his text messages. i met him for happy hour & we didn't click at all & the whole time i was wondering if he knew of any bands that needed a bass player.
