06 October 2013

her lullaby

     i watch your fingertips move along the strings and i think to myself that those are the hands that will wipe the tears from my little girl's eyes after she skins her knee or wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare.  those are the fingers that will apply the band-aid, those are the arms that will hold her until she falls asleep again, feeling warm and safe in her daddy's embrace.

     i stare at your left shirt pocket as you sing and move and i imagine my baby's head resting there, her tiny ear against your broad chest, as the steady pounding of your heart becomes her lullaby.

     later that night i lie in bed and write these words as giant raindrops slap my window and loud bassy thunder explodes as lightning bolts make this night come Alive.  i wish you were here, but i cherish this moment anyway, and the hours that led up to it.  the hours, the days, the months, the years, the centuries and ages that have brought me to this moment in time.  i feel a soul-deep warmth and gratitude beyond words, for your very existence.  for every emotion you have evoked in me.  for every smile and every tear shed in laughter, in happiness, in pain.  for every bump in this road, every peak and plunge of this rollercoaster ride.

i give up the attempt to explain it with words.

i give in, i give up.  i'm yours.